If your dog could talk, he’d probably beg you to toss out his gaudy red-and-green “fa-la-la-la-festive” hoodie. Though ugly Christmas sweaters are having a moment at themed holiday parties, they don’t always belong on our otherwise oh-so-cute pups. This winter, ditch the kitsch for more on-trend and sophisticated styles that offer fashion and function.

Dogs may need a little coaching to get accustomed to wearing a sweater, and it’s not for every dog. For certain canines who might require the extra protection from the elements, your efforts can be well worth it. Just make sure the sweater doesn’t restrict movement and your dog doesn’t get overheated if wearing it inside.

We rounded up a dozen of this season’s cutest sweaters and had a little fun imagining what the dog models might be thinking while sporting these dapper duds.

“My style slogan? Love trumps bad taste.”

“My style slogan? Love trumps bad taste.”

Hopeless romantics can wear their hearts just past their sleeves in this merino wool cardigan.

Ware of the Dog 100% Merino Wool Heart Cardigan, $78
“Much like ears, the bigger the stripe, the better.”

“Much like ears, the bigger the stripe, the better.”

Banish the winter blues by dressing your pup in this electric sweater, complete with a pompom-adorned hood.

Bahound 100% Alpaca Wool Hand-Knit Sweater, $80
“Take me for a stroll around campus, won’t you?”

“Take me for a stroll around campus, won’t you?”

If he could major in “smart casual,” this cutie would graduate at the top of his class for sporting a varsity style that’s a throwback to collegiate days.

Canine Styles 100% Pure Wool Varsity Sweater, $75
“I put the cool in classic.”

“I put the cool in classic.”

What complements nearly every color of fur, works equally well for male and female dogs, and remains perpetually in vogue? A traditional cable-knit in ivory, naturally.

Baxter Boo Handmade Cable-Knit Wool Sweater, $30-$33
“Are you sure I’m not a Brooklyn Terrier?”

“Are you sure I’m not a Brooklyn Terrier?”

This anything-but-basic bobble-knit topper would fit right in on the streets of New York City’s hippest borough.

Lead the Walk 100% Lambswool Chunky Knit Sweater, £50.00
“Après-ski is the life for me.”

“Après-ski is the life for me.”

A colorful vintage ski hoodie will turn heads whether worn at the ski lodge or stomping the neighborhood sidewalks.

Funny Fur Handmade 100% Wool Sweater, $41
“How many treats do I get for wearing this?”

“How many treats do I get for wearing this?”

Perfect for the pup who’s almost too cool to wear a sweater, this hand-screen-printed hoodie makes a subtle fashion statement without going over the (mountain)top.

Camp Cloon 100% Cotton Hoodie, $49 NZD
“I’m a trendsetter. There’s no disguising it.”

“I’m a trendsetter. There’s no disguising it.”

Your furry friend will do anything but blend in wearing this camo number. (Bonus style points for the pattern mixing!) And while we adore the sweater, we don't recommend putting the accompanying necklace on your dog... you don't want him to chew on it and swallow the beads. Safety first!

Ruby Rufus in Collaboration With Harper Hugo Sweater, £75
“May I borrow your pearls?”

“May I borrow your pearls?”

A longtime fixture among fashion It girls, leopard print is now being spotted on divas of the doggy variety.

PetSmart Hip Doggie Polar Fleece Hoodie, $22.49
“Forget Friday, is it a snow day yet?”

“Forget Friday, is it a snow day yet?”

Your four-legged friend will be ready for the next snowfall in this hand-knit wool sweater. Snowdrifts, there’s one dapper dog heading your way.

Funny Fur Hand-Knit Snowflake Sweater, $37
“How long before my driver arrives?”

“How long before my driver arrives?”

The ultimate luxury, this 100 percent cashmere cable-knit will be an indulgence for even the most pampered of pups.

Canine Styles 100% Cashmere Cable-Knit Sweater, $165
“I love my skull and crossbones… and bones. Mostly bones.”

“I love my skull and crossbones… and bones. Mostly bones.”

Unleash your dog’s inner rock star with this edgy black-and-white look.

Baxter Boo Handmade Wool Sweater, $30-$34.50

Please note that product prices and availability were confirmed at the time of publishing, but they are subject to change due to holiday sales.

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